Week 16 - Forgiveness
"All Is Forgiven? I Can't Believe You People!"
Background
Much of the payoff for the spiritual journeys in Buffy the Vampire Slayer comes
in season seven, but to understand these characters' journeys fully, you have
to take the journeys with them. In the short span of this course, we can only
take glimpses, and there's much more background than we can hope to cover in a
few paragraphs.
These episodes on forgiveness focus on Anya and Xander. Anya enters the series
as a vengeance demon, but she loses her power and has to learn to live as a
human. Anya and Xander have been dating for nearly three years, but they've
managed to ignore some serious problems in their relationship.
Buffy and Willow have been through tremendous changes. Buffy has endured
serious depression and an abusive affair with Spike. Willow has delved deeply
into black magic, and has lost her relationship with Tara as a result of her
addiction and control issues. Both have killed people.
Opening
Whoever opts for revenge should dig two graves.
-Chinese proverb
The only thing harder than forgiveness is the alternative.
-Philip Yancey
As Unitarian Universalists, we don't have a shared belief in a deity who
commands us to forgive "seventy times seven" times, or to turn the other cheek.
We don't have a shared belief in an after-life where we might be rewarded for
forgiving freely.
So what's left? Accountability, for one thing. We are responsible for the
things that we do, and we expect no less from others. Restitution is another;
where we have caused harm, one of the paths to atonement is to try to repair or
repay for the harm we have done. We expect no less from others.
Whatever we expect from others, though, we may not get. Whether it is
forgiveness or contrition that we expect or demand, we don't have the ability
to make it happen, and depending on others for these things may leave us unable
to move forward in our own lives.
What forgiveness does do is break the cycle of destruction. There is no
vengeance, no further acts of harm. There may be a need for caution or
defensiveness; those who have caused harm in the past may do it again.
Similarly, others may see us the same way. However, this does not prevent
forgiveness; we can forgive others for being who they are, by accepting that
they will not and cannot change. We can forgive while still holding them
accountable for what they have done, and we should expect no less from others.
Episode 6.16: Hell's Bells
What to watch for
-
Getting married for all the wrong reasons
Transcript is available at
http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season6/transcripts/116_tran.shtml
Episode 7.5: Selfless
What to watch for
-
All the things that Anya has lost in her life
-
Buffy and Xander arguing about how to deal with Anya
-
Closure between Buffy and Anya
Transcript available at
http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season7/transcripts/127_tran.php
Metaphor Watch
Philosophers such as Plato and Kant have used the idea of multiple dimensions
as a way of talking about different levels of knowledge. In Buffy, multiple
dimensions simply become reality.
Also, the idea of turning a wish into reality is an explicit example of turning
metaphor into reality. Part of what makes Buffy such an effective story is that
it respects reality in even the most fantastic situations. Want to wish a
person away? OK, but all of the consequences become reality, too, not just
"from now on" but also in changing history to conform with the wish as well,
not just in the vicinity of the wish, but for the entire world. The Buffyverse
is every bit as unforgiving as the reality.
Questions
Giles says, "To forgive is an act of compassion. It's not done because people
deserve it; it's done because they need it." How does this compare with
forgiveness as it's taught in Christianity?
What does forgiveness do for the other person? What does forgiving someone do
for you?
Is it possible to "move on" without forgiving?
What's wrong with the adage, "forgive and forget"? If not forgetfulness, what
is needed for forgiving?
Is it possible to forgive while still holding someone accountable for what
they've done?
How does vengeance prevent either moving on, or forgiving?
What is it that Xander cannot forgive about himself, that ruins his marriage?
When we forgive someone, who benefits most from forgiveness? Why?
Why is it so hard to forgive ourselves? Why is self-forgiveness necessary?
What does it mean to "need" someone else's forgiveness?
Closing
Forgive us that often we forgive ourselves so easily and others so hardly;
Forgive us that we expect perfection from those to whom we show none;
Forgive us for repelling people by the way we set a good example;
Forgive us the folly of trying to improve a friend;
Forbid that we should use our little idea of goodness as a spear to wound those
who are different;
Forbid that we should feel superior to others when we are only more shielded;
And may we encourage the secret struggle of every person.
-Vivian Pomeroy
Additional Reading
Battis, Jes, Blood Relations: Chosen Families in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. Jefferson, NC: McFarland & Company, 2005.
Brock, Rita Nakashima, and Rebecca Ann Parker, Proverbs of
Ashes: Violence, Redemptive Suffering, and the Search for What Saves Us.
Boston: Beacon Press, 2001.
Hanh, Thich Nhat, The Miracle of Mindfulness. Boston:
Beacon Press, 1975.
Held, Jacob M., Justifying the Means: Punishment in the
Buffyverse. South, James B, ed., Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Philosophy: Fear
and Trembling in Sunnydale. Chicago, IL: Open Court, 2003.
Kopp, Sheldon B., If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill
Him! Toronto: Bantam Books, 1972.
Riess, Jana, What Would Buffy Do? San Francisco,
CA: Jossey-Bass, 2004.
Stevenson, Gregory, Televised Morality: The Case of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Dallas: Hamilton Books, 2003.